The maid of honor just puked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
