Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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