dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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