How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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