How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize