pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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