You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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