I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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