He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
