Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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