god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
