Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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