so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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