so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize