and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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