Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
