Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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