and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
