When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
