; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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