But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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