Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
