Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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