What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
