You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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