great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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