How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
