I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
