dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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