I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
