He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
