I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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