Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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