So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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