Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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