Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize