It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
