what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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