i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
