96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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