we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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