If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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