I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
