Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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