he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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