Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
