Already got asked if we're dating
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom