Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.

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  (404): Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that. http://tfl.nu/7nr6
  Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (505)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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  (301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man. http://tfl.nu/s3bb
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (4271)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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  (402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn
  Replies (11) Good night (1614) Bad night (557)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

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  (804): does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app? http://tfl.nu/1l1k
  Replies (41) Good night (856) Bad night (3424)
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  (909): View more from California

  I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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  (909): I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea. http://tfl.nu/jmc9
  Replies (22) Good night (3374) Bad night (643)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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  (219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4
  Replies (11) Good night (7798) Bad night (1311)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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  (608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss
  Replies (13) Good night (3577) Bad night (1702)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3207) Bad night (1549)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

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  (716): My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu. http://tfl.nu/wnz4
  Replies (4) Good night (3985) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.

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  (712): They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem. http://tfl.nu/r408
  Replies (6) Good night (2396) Bad night (960)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man

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  (785): I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man http://tfl.nu/ay55
  Replies (10) Good night (2672) Bad night (696)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.

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  (573): I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt. http://tfl.nu/esr9
  Replies (7) Good night (1488) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  ...and?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hate when you're right.

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  (928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8
  Replies (10) Good night (969) Bad night (446)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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  (203): Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/mf50
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.

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  (+27): He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/h7su
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (450)

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