I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
