..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And then the night went full on bisexual.