I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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