she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
