Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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