Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
