Don't make out with my wife yet
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
