How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
