it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
