she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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