Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize