I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize