hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
