a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
