problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
